Reprinted from the Beltane 2006 newsletter
Once insatiable curiosity runs headlong into matters of faith a spiritual journey is born.
All of us hold spiritual beliefs and some of us strive to incorporate spirituality into our daily lives. I'd like to explore the beginnings of my own spiritual journey in an attempt to describe how I navigate the morass of paths that exist. Hopefully this article will give you some ideas for progressing through your own spiritual journey.
I've always been curious and I always try to understand why something is the way it is. When I first began my spiritual journey answers were readily available. These answers, however, did not stand up to my incessant barrage of why this and why that. Whenever they told me it was a matter of faith or that I could not understand the mind (i.e. motivations) of God, I was left feeling empty. Empty except, of course, for that familiar one word question: why? It didn't take too long for me to decide that I wouldn't be satisfied with someone else's faith. I certainly wasn't going to stop asking why simply because someone else thought I'd not understand the answers. I realized that I would have to answer many of the hard questions myself. The first question I needed to answer was why I spend so much energy on seeking answers.
First and foremost, the purpose of my spiritual journey is self discovery. A large stumbling block for me is directing my curiosity inward. Although many people described me as introspective during my youth, I never aimed the "why" ray at myself. I spent a great deal of time within my own thoughts but those thoughts puzzled over questions about the outside world. It didn't occur to me that I didn't understand my own motivations and reactions. I realized that I did not know who I was or who I wanted to be. I decided to begin a merciless campaign of "why" carpet bombing on myself. Needless to say, the first phase of my spiritual journey was painful, humbling, enlightening, very difficult and very powerful. Everyone around me felt the blast, my family, my friends, my coworkers, everyone. I had been living as a stranger to myself for so long that the repercussions from my discoveries were enormous. This, among other things, caused a reassessment of my relationship with the outside world.
As important as it is to know oneself, we cannot forget that we live in an environment inundated with existence. From the fiery furnaces of distant stars to the tiny ants marching along porch rails, we are surrounded by the universe, we are part of everything and each of our actions, our very presence, has an effect. Regardless of how scientifically unmeasurable or mathematically insignificant, what we do changes the universe, our will creates the future. Without knowing who we are, how we want to interact or what future we desire, we simply add to the chaos and exist without direction, without purpose or intent beyond the instinctual need to survive. Without direction we live as reactionary beings bouncing between events that seem wholly out of our control. We become helpless victims of a harsh and unsympathetic universe. Once we start down the path of self discovery and embark on a spiritual journey we soon realize the interconnectedness of the universe and our path takes us to the border between ourselves and others.
We are social creatures. Most of us would not survive on our own. Even if we overcame the challenges of surviving nature's tests we are designed to be with others, to seek company and companionship, to form tribes, communities, cities and civilizations. Even though a spiritual path is a personal experience, it should guide us through our interactions with others, it should provide the groundwork for existing as a member of society, as an element of nature and as a force in the universe. Our spiritual paths should function as dictionaries of ourselves, as encyclopedias of our existence, dictating our lifestyles, our career choices, our personal relationships and every other aspect of our lives. Our journeys should affect our decisions and reactions on a daily, hourly and minute-by-minute basis. It should be the very core of who we are.
How do you find your spiritual path? This is a tough question to answer for most people. Many simply attempt to follow the path laid out by someone else. There is no shortage of people selling enlightenment and you would be wise to research as many pre-existing paths as you can. Keep in mind that the path you choose, even the path you create, is just a tool to help you progress through your journey. Taking the journey is the ultimate goal and you should not let the multitude of path choices, confusing guideposts and conflicting markers keep you from your travels. You travel along your path from here to there and each step creates a change in your perspective, in your current position and your progress. The markers and guideposts you follow can be a set of ethics, a system of beliefs, your own will or personal needs. The options are many but the more defined your path, the more visible the markers and guideposts and the easier your path is to follow. When the markers get confusing, when the guideposts are hidden and hinder your progress, it is time to forge your own path. Your focus on continuing the journey will give you the courage and strength to blaze a new trail, to create your own markers and guideposts.
By beginning your journey from the inside out you have a strong sense of yourself, your whole self. You are intimate with your strengths and weaknesses, your positive and negative aspects, your admirable and shameful qualities, your virtues and faults. You carry this knowledge with you along your journey. It is this knowledge that empowers you to choose your own direction, to forge a new path when the markers and guideposts created by others no longer help you. The paths created by others cannot take you all the way through your journey. At some point along the way you will be forced to either end your travels or reach down within yourself, call up your spirit and look to your soul for direction. Once you have truly started down your own, personal path you will no longer rely on the markings and guideposts of others. You will still acknowledge and appreciate them whenever your path runs near theirs but your path and your journey will be your own.
I am a spiritual being and I try to incorporate my spirituality into my daily life. If you are curious and find yourself lacking sufficient answers, I suggest beginning your own spiritual journey. Start with rigorous introspection. You must know yourself and face the hard truths you find in your soul. Secondly, you need an understanding and a certain empathy with your surroundings, the people in your life and your effect on everything and everyone around you. Also, You must have courage to make decisions when the direction to take is unknown. One last thing to realize is that the journey is a circle, a cycle through which we learn and grow. I continually pass through the stages, back and forth, round and round, from self discovery to communing with the outside to choosing direction and setting markers. The journey never ends, it just keeps getting better.
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